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Here It Goes

It’s a gray day, the third full day a of spring, and I’m sitting in my room that is only partially clean even though it’s my day off and I swore up and down that I would do my laundry and organize the bills and various paperwork that currently clutter my desk and dresser. And I could do that now, but I decided that writing a new post in a brand new blog was more important, because honestly I’ve had some trouble writing these days; I’ve been feeling so distant and disconnected.  Not really sure why– it’s just been one of those months where nothing seems to go right, I’m constantly tripping over things, and my pants don’t fit right. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going half the time.

I’ve come to realize that I have to take whatever scrap of inspiration I can find. I have to sit down and force myself to write, even if it’s just about the room, or the weather, or the bills on my desk. I haven’t written a complete story in over a year. I have one that’s just about finished, but the ending is problematic, mostly because there isn’t an ending. The issue hasn’t been resolved in real life, and since I’m a writer on nonfiction, I have to wait until I figure things out before I can conclude. I’m hoping that blogging will help jump-start my writing, so here it goes.

So I’m sitting on my bed and typing away, fighting the urge to lay down and take a nap, and I’m just throwing it out there because it might happen. I fucking love naps. Damien Rice is playing on my iPod, and while I can’t think of a better soundtrack for this gray afternoon, I find his music to be so soothing and ideal for napping, not writing.

This post is a bit of a mess, but I’m not concerned. I never know what to do for the first post of any blog I’ve ever had, and usually they don’t work out well for me anyway. I forget about it, or get too discouraged, or I convince myself that no one reads my writing anyway, so what’s the point (even when people do read it. I’m such an egomaniac sometimes). Here’s hoping that I’ll commit to this one.

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